Their first phone, set up properly
Whether to say yes, which phone to choose, and the 45-minute setup that prevents a year of arguments. If it is going under the tree, set it up before you wrap it.
Before you buy: three decisions
Smartphone, or a simpler phone first?
A basic phone (calls, texts, no apps) covers the "can I reach you" need without opening up the whole internet, and plenty of UK families use one as a stepping stone. If the answer is a smartphone, the settings below make it a manageable one. There is no wrong answer here, only the one that fits your child.
Is my child ready, whatever their age?
There is no official right age. More useful than a birthday: do they tell you when something goes wrong? Do they handle "screens off" without a battle? Can they follow rules when you are not watching? Many UK children get a first phone around the move to secondary school, but readiness beats the playground average.
New, or a hand-me-down?
A hand-me-down is a fine first phone with one non-negotiable: factory-reset it first, so old accounts, photos and payment details are gone, then set it up fresh with a child account rather than an adult's leftover login.
The 45-minute setup, before you hand it over
Do this a few days early, with a cup of tea, while the phone is still yours. A phone that arrives with its settings already on is "how it works". The same settings added afterwards are "you don't trust me".
Charge it and switch it on out of sight, a few days before you hand it over.
Create their own child account (Apple ID or Google account with their real date of birth), never a shared adult login.
Set up the parental controls with a passcode they do not know: Screen Time on iPhone, Family Link on Android. (iPhone guide)
Turn on purchase approvals so app downloads and in-app spending need your say-so. (Android guide)
Turn safe search on in the browser and any pre-installed search apps. (Safe search guide)
Add the family's numbers to contacts, and set Downtime or Bedtime mode so the phone sleeps when they should.
Decide the app rules now, using real minimum ages, so "can I get TikTok?" already has an answer. (App age checker)
Print the full checklist and tick it off as you go. (Printable checklist)
Getting it for Christmas?
Christmas morning is the biggest first-phone moment of the year, and the worst possible time to start configuring one. Two things make it go well:
- Wrap it ready. Account created, controls on, contacts in, charged. The excitement survives; the four-hour setup argument does not happen.
- Say one sentence as you hand it over. "It comes set up for your age, and the settings loosen as you get older." That frames every future conversation as promotion, not punishment.
Then, sometime between Christmas and New Year, build your family agreement together while goodwill is high.
The first few weeks
The settings do the guarding; your job is the conversation. Ask what they are enjoying, meet the group chat drama with curiosity rather than alarm, and praise them loudly the first time they show you something that felt wrong, because that reflex is worth more than every control combined. When the "can I get this app?" requests start (they will), our app age checker gives you the real minimum age and an honest answer for each one.
Frequently asked questions
Do it with the checklist open
The printable setup checklist covers everything on this page plus your broadband, consoles and apps, with a step-by-step guide behind every item.
Last reviewed: August 2026.